eternal sunshine

I haven't thought about him in a very long time, perhaps a year. Ironic, considering the dating frenzy. But something, someone, reminded me of him. Someone and a conversation with a friend who told me she didn't get involved with a man because he couldn't give a clear answer with respect to his ex. I paused. I thought. What would I do if that one came back into my life? It's not healthy to wonder such things. But he has come up, like a memory inscribed on a piece of paper, floating to the surface of a pond, black inscrutable script on stark white fragments.

I dreamt of him last night. He asked me to come away with him. Despite everything I have promised myself, despite having sworn to myself that that chapter of my life was closed, that I wouldn't allow myself ever to be with him because it had hurt too much too many times, I didn't hesitate.

I didn't hestitate.

Damn.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but a dream is never just a dream.