English people make the worst houseguests

(Ready for a rant?)

I agree whole-heartedly with this astute observation. Our flatmate's mother is a very sweet woman. But sooooooooooo English I imagine blood shooting out of arteries because I've shoved nails into my neck. The first word out of her mouth when she arrived was 'sorry' and she uses it in virtually all of her conversation-openers. Sorry for getting in your way (we're not even in the same room), sorry for making a mess (what mess?), sorry for using the ironing board, sorry but may I use the washing machine, sorry but have you finished with the bath, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry for breathing! Woman, I wouldn't notice you if you didn't say sorry every other second for things I couldn't care less about! The English apologise for everything, short of their existence (ironically enough...). But it's politeness you say. RIIIIIIIIIGHT. Saying sorry is really only meant to excuse any ridiculous or offensive behaviour that may follow said remark. Not to say his mother has done anything offensive. Quite the opposite. But (sigh) I guess they can't help it. Anything and everything is offensive in English culture. Except getting disgustingly drunk and being obnoxiously loud or starting fights in Soho at 11pm.