don't waste your breath

Am definitely not feeling 'integrated and relaxed'. It's been one of those days - nothing seemed to go my way despite a great deal of spent energy. Been having a lot of those lately - the planets must not favour me. Called the bank and said they wouldn't consider my app without a utility bill. How do I get a utility bill if I don't have an account to pay from? Can you get a bank statement with your UK address? I obviously don't have a bank account in the UK so how would I get a bank statement? Can I get a letter from the estate agent? That would work. Oh sorry, we don't handle the property directly, you have to get a letter from the landlord (who lives in Essex).

Went to the SOAS library (1 hour). Queued up for a day pass (half hour). All the books I need are reserved in a special section that is accessible only to SOAS students and staff. Hence I cannot get in. So what am I supposed to do? You're supposed to get this orange form from the registry...UCL should have explained this. UCL didn't explain jack.

Take a deep breath.

That didn't work. It only works when you want it to work. Shove in the earbuds, crank up the music, shut out the world. Pounding the pavement, clenching my teeth, finding every excuse to be irritated. Got it in my head that I needed a cigarette.

It was a beautiful day. Sunny, warm, shifty puffs of clouds. Difficult to stay annoyed. Opened the windows in my room completely and perched myself on the ledge. Stood up for a moment and realising that the sight of a girl in an orange sweater standing on a ledge 5 floors up was not unlikely to attract unwanted attention, I sat back down. Cranked up the music, lit a cigarette, inhaled, exhaled. David Gray's guitar mingling with the acceleration of traffic, the fat buzz of jet turboprops above. Such a perfectly gorgeous day. Sigh.

What was I saying?